Ani
Normally a right of passage for any military spouse or significant other is going through deployment. Though in most cases this may be true, but I have never experienced such a thing, at least in my marriage.
Coast Guard Wife Heart Necklace
While growing up I was apart of a military family, Coast Guard to be exact. I was so used to my dad being deployed on a ship for most of my life that I thought this was truly the norm. The rest of my friends who had dads or moms in the military experienced the same thing, and truly it brought all our families closer. Mainly because it was easier for the spouse left behind to rely on each other to pick up the missing help from the other, I think. But this was a typical life.
One that I, after my childhood, actually thought I would steer away from. The reason for this is because even when the families were so close there was still this feeling of loss. I wanted my dad. I craved hugs and story time that I never really got. Plus, I wanted my family to function. I wanted us to feel loved from my father. As a kid they would always tell me that my dad loved me, but I could never tell. I knew my mom did cause she was always there, but to me my father didn’t seem like he did. Even when he was back from deployment on the ships he didn’t make an effort to go to any of my special events. He mainly stayed in front of the TV catching up on games he missed, or on the phone with buddies from work. He wouldn’t even really hang out with my mother, at least to what it seemed like to me.
In my eyes, deployment took my father away from the family. It even caused a lot more problems for my family that led to their divorce later in life. Sure I had a pseudo family of friends, but the biggest part was missing. My father. This of course steered me away when I was younger to wanting to be with anyone in the military. And yes it helped create a foundation to many father issues later in life. I never wanted to repeat my childhood again, and the dreaded deployment. But, of course life is strange and later down the road I went on a date with this handsome guy…That turned out to be in the Coast Guard (he refused to tell me till our second date and I was so head over heels for him I didn’t let that count against him.) And a while after I ended up marrying him. I of coursed feared that my childhood would happen again, as he was military and there was a chance of deployment, in my opinion it was bound to happen. But so far to my surprise it hasn’t happened yet. And I am by far grateful for this. It’s not because of trust issues with my husband or anything he has done. But, it’s from my past experience with deployment. And I got to say I hope never to go through this right of passage with him, though if it came I’d still stand by his side.